Russell Heeter Photography 

3. “Dang it. I wanted Bronzed Goddess, not Casper the Friendly Ghost.” 

Wedding planning takes up a lot of time. As a bridesmaid, you’ve been tasked with many duties. You might have been hoping for a little more color, but ran out of time for a quick spray tan or a couple hours laying out in the sun. All eyes will be on the bride, so no need to get self-conscious!

4. “Are three duffle bags three too many?”

You were asked to be a bridesmaid for THIS EXACT REASON. Preparedness and overpreparedness are the same thing. Take your luggage of slippers, makeup, robes, PJs, mini bottles of champagne, Tide to Go, and granola bars and continue on. It’s your destiny.

5. “Maybe I should delete the groom from Snapchat so I can add the bride to my story.”

It’s only 9 in the morning and the bride-to-be looks absolutely stunning, from start to finish. And then there’s the gorgeous bridal gown. Everything inside you wants to take a picture and show the world. But hold those thumbs. The big reveal will be worth it!

6. “Can the wedding hairstylist tell that I’m on my third day of dry shampoo?”

Yes, they can. But, no, they won’t judge (particularly the seasoned wedding hair stylists). You’re a busy woman and your undivided attention has been unregrettably on the bride. Dry shampoo, deodorant and facial wipes are here for you just like you’ve been there for your rockstar. And last time I checked, hair curls better with more product anyway.

7. “I’m crying. I’m crying already.”

But Smashbox and MAC is expensive. Plus you only have one pair of false eyelashes because you gave the extras to your fellow ‘maids. Emotions are high and it’s easy to get caught up, but stay strong, woman! There will be plenty of time to shed a few at the ceremony. I promise. For now, may I suggest some good setting spray?

8. “The photographer is getting all angles of my ugly crying.”

Wedding photographers love candids. The morning of the wedding is a great time to take some of these shots. Thoughts and prayers for all the ‘maids who can’t hold it together. Waist down, please.

9. “The bride’s mother just steamed my dress for a good 20 minutes. Now I just sat down the wrong way and gave it 20 more wrinkles.”

A perfectionist’s nightmare. Hopefully the photographer got a good round of shots before this tragedy. You’re considering grabbing a pair of scissors and chopping off a nice foot or two. Then you remember bridesmaid dresses ain’t cheap. Leave that to a seamstress (way later).

Sophisticated Grace Photography

10. “Wait, are we leaving now?

It’s been four hours of grooming, curling, fluffing, steaming, and polishing. Now the bridesmaids are ascending the safety of the room into the unpredictable world of the wedding day. You don’t feel prepared at all. There are no stops on the wedding day train! Carry on.

11. “I can’t feel my face.”

Next stop: Photoshoot! You’ve been smiling for two hours straight at this point, and you’re grateful for the Crest Whitening Strips the bride distributed a few weeks ago. All this cheesing is making your cheeks go numb. But you look over the bride, who is SO happy to have all of you gals around her, and the smile becomes contagious. What a fantastic day.

12. “I need a catnap and a bottle of prosecco.”

Don’t we all, girlfriend. After getting ready and photos, it’s already felt like a whole day’s worth of work. Luckily you have a small break before the ceremony begins. Your bridesmaid duties aren’t finished quite yet. Get ready for the waterworks.

13. “That’s a big crowd.”

The bride has never been more popular. As guests flood into the wedding venue, brimming with excitement and anticipation, it’s common to get stage fright. Your heart starts pounding and you think of escape routes. The maid-of-honor loses her speech and everyone freaks out for a solid 10 minutes until the bride mentions it’s in her phone. See, you need the bride as much as she needs you! Ootfda.

14. “I haven’t worn heels since prom.”

Russell Heeter Photography 

15. “Don’t people know staring is rude.”

You made it up the aisle safe and sound. The heartbeats slow a little, until you notice that all the guests are staring right into your soul. Do they notice the sweat glistening right above your lip? Are you hold the flower bouquet at the right angle? Should you take a break from smiling? What should you rest your gaze on? The back wall or Aunt Linda. None of that matter when the bride steps out. All heads turn to her. And they won’t move for the rest of the ceremony. Mission accomplished. 

16. "I need to step up my game.”

There comes the bride. She’s put so much work into everything! Her hair, makeup, wedding veil, and bridal gown all come together perfectly. But what’s even more beautiful is the way she glows from the inside out. It’s enough to make you hear the wedding bells. Do people still do that nowadays? Ideas, ideas. 

17. “The groom is looking at the bride like I look at cookie dough ice cream.”

You’ve never seen a love more true. There’s not a dry eye in the house. Or field. Wherever the wedding might be. Your mind starts formulating an approximate timeline of when you should find your soulmate. All the groomsmen are in a relationship, so you calculate that in the mix.

18. “The florist should’ve hidden a box of tissues in this flower bouquet.”

The vows are exquisite and it’s more than your achy breaky heart can take. Who cares what the guests think now, you just want to bawl your eyes out. The bridesmaids should have had a meeting earlier to initiate a Crying Pact. It looks less weird if everyone does it at once, right?

19. “I haven’t been this hungry since I don’t even remember when.”

All these feels have really made you work up an appetite. A wedding reception is like a prize for bridesmaid. After all of your hard work and self control (you kind of went on a diet but got sick of all the salads) it’s time to dig into some catered deliciousness.

20. “Bless the bride’s soul.”

She’s got your back. From giving you a great seat at the head table, to making sure you and the other bridesmaids never see an empty champagne glass. Even better, you’ve now made 7 lifelong friends at this table. That’s priceless!

Sophisticated Grace Photography 

21. “I didn’t ask for this.”

The ceremony may have been easy breezy, but I’m here to warn you about the Maid of Honor and Best Man’s speech. Add in a dose of the married couple’s parents putting in a word or two, it’s a recipe for disaster. Drama aside, you’re going to be feelings things you didn’t even think existed. Grandmas are especially skilled at telling stories you’ll mistaken imagine you’ve experienced.

22. “You know what’s better than cookie dough ice cream? Cake. Cake is.”

Nothing pairs better with champagne than cake, and no one picks out a better cake than a soon-to-be-bride.

23. “How can I wear this dress again?”

Megan Norman Photography

24. “Would the photographer let me sneak a peek at some of the wedding photos?”

You know they’re AMAZING. The groom and bride already look stunning, and add in a beautiful wedding venue, there’s bound to be some head turners in there. Maybe bribing him or her with more wedding cake will do the trick. It sure would for me. 

25. “Did someone bring a Tide to Go? SOS.”

Of course you left yours in the ‘Maid Emergency bag. In the hotel room. Down the block. Red wine stains are stubborn buggers.

26. “How many dance moves can I get away with in this dress?”

Doesn’t matter. The dress is beyond saving. The only thing going home intact tonight is all the memories.

27. “I’m single. Extremely single.”

The bride and groom’s first dance is so cute you can BARELY TAKE IT. Don’t even get me started on the Bride/Father dance and all the cute couples on the dance floor.

28. “Can we do this again next year?”

The Bridesmaid-Bride bond that’s been created throughout the past months is unbreakable. You’re so happy you met all these amazing people and was able to support your best friend at the same time.

29. “My feet are killing me.”

The heels were ditched ages ago. But nonetheless, you’re just beat. After a night full of dancing, champagne toasts, and picture taking, the festivities are winding down.

30. “I’m glad I did this.”

It’s been a great ride. The people you’ve met, memories you’ve made, and experiences you’ve had make all the money and time spent worth it. And you’d do it all over again.

Sophisticated Grace Photography 

Being a bridesmaid is a full-time job. Planning out the bridal shower, bachelorette party and any other additional events is an investment mentally, physically, and financially. Your duties to support the bride during this extremely important time in her life may seem never-ending, but the wedding day is the light at the end of the tunnel. Cheer each other on, be encouraging, and stay organized! All the hard work will pull everything together in the end. It’s going to be a wonderful day with priceless memories!