Duties For The Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom
After getting engaged (yay!), it is proper etiquette to introduce your families if they have not already met. Some traditions state that the mother of the groom should reach out to the bride’s family to organize a get-together. However, it's a lot more common for the couple to arrange this.
1) Decide If There Will be An Engagement Party (& Plan If So!)
It is tradition for the mother of the bride to host an engagement party after the proposal. However, some couples choose to host one themselves or request that a friend take over the responsibility. But before you start planning, consider if you even want an engagement party. Many couples decide not to have one for a multitude of reasons, so don't feel pressured! You may feel inclined to put that money towards the wedding or the honeymoon instead.
2) Discuss the Wedding Budget & Guest List
3) Decide Who to Invite Wedding Dress Shopping
Typically the bride will ask her mother to attend her wedding dress try-on appointment and fittings. Along with her bridesmaids and some of her closest friends. It is completely up to you who you want to attend this magical moment. Maybe you feel close enough to invite your future mother-in-law along with you and your mom. Or maybe you just want your friends there; you decide! Just make sure you invite the people you will feel most comfortable with. You want this to be a special moment, so include the people most special to you.
After you’ve selected your dress and your bridesmaid dresses, it’s on to the mothers’ dresses! It is tradition that the mother of the bride picks out her dress first. And then informs the mother of the groom what her dress looks like. This way the mother of the groom can pick out her dress in a complimentary color. Mothers should generally avoid choosing dresses in the same color as the bridesmaid dresses! Their dresses should be similar colors that fit into your color scheme. To get started, check out Kennedy Blue's collection of Mother's Dresses.
4) Create Plan for Hosting the Bridal Shower
When it comes to hosting showers, traditions have changed a lot. In the past, the maid of honor should host the one (and only) shower for the bride. Now, brides often thrown more than one shower. While not necessarily easier, this tends to be practical. If you have a large family, it's difficult to host just one shower. This is where the moms can come into play. Moms and aunts are now hosting bridal showers of their own! These can include predominantly family, but friends as well.
One major duty of both the mother of the bride and groom is to spread the word of where the couple is registered. It's considered poor etiquette for this information to be listed on the formal invitations. So it is up to the mothers (and other shower hosts) to spread the word!
5) Determine How to Organize Wedding RSVPs
6) Who Hosts the Rehearsal Dinner?
Probably the biggest mother of the groom duty and tradition to date is hosting the rehearsal dinner. While some families are choosing to host this together, it is typically up to the mother of the groom to plan. Depending on the venue and how difficult it is to secure, it may need to be planned months in advance. She should collect a guest list from the couple well in advance and get invites out approximately 4-6 weeks prior. Tradition says that it should be hosted following the rehearsal, the night before the wedding.
Day-of Wedding Duties for the Mothers of Bride & Groom
Duties on the big day? That’s also completely up to you as a couple. Maybe you want your parents to organize family photos before the ceremony or at the rehearsal dinner. Have them discuss when they would like these to take place with your photographer. One other duty you could assign to them is ensuring that the tips are all delivered to the vendors. Tack on any little tasks that you can think of which you would like removed from your plate. And that you would feel comfortable with them handling on your big day. Just be sure to discuss it with them in detail ahead of time!
Determining Their Duties - Communication is Key
Stunning Mother of the Bride Dresses
Looking for the perfect mother of the bride or groom dress? We've got you covered! Here are some of our favorite style for the upcoming season.
1) One Shoulder Mother of the Bride Dress in Mahogany
Blake Mother's Dress in Mahogany
For an elegant mother of the bride dress, consider this one shoulder look! With a gorgeous slit and stunning sleeve, Blake is a favorite across mothers. Plus, this style comes in several colors to cater towards each season.
2) Satin Mother's Dress with Sleeves
Tabitha Mother's Dress in Taupe
For a sleek, modern look, consider satin mother's dresses! Tabitha is a flattering look, complete with flutter sleeves and a v neckline. Find this dress in a variety of colors, including: black, navy, and gold!
3) Beaded V Neck Mother of the Bride Dress
Betsy Mother's Dress in Navy Blue
For a more casual and fun look, Betsy is the perfect option! This chiffon mother of the bride or groom dress has delicate embroidery and beading, adding the perfect amount of detail. This style is perfect for warmer weather weddings, and is available in many more colors.
3) Sequin Mother of the Bride Dress with Cowl Back
Jamie Mother's Dress in Bronze
Sequin mother's dresses bring an extra level of glamour! Jamie features darling cap sleeves and a high coverage neckline, while the back has a stunning cowl. This is a perfect option for a fancier wedding!
Let's Hear From You!
I would also like to know what Janet asked. I assume the mother of the groom does not have to be dressed any more subdued than the mother of the bride. It is the bride and groom’s big day. Therefore, am I correct to assume that the dress of the mother of the groom should be on par with that of the mother of the bride because both sets of parents celebrate the wedding of their children?
Thank you for this helpful information! I am actually the grandmother of the groom, but raised him as my own son. His mother will not be involved in the wedding. He and his fiancee have included me in planning, listening to my ideas and discussing all things “wedding”. I am joyously anticipating the actual wedding!
What about MOG duties where it’s the second marriage for the groom, first for the bride and the bride’s family is very traditional? AKA paying for most of the wedding? or where money is tight for one side and not so much for the other? Seems like the MOG is either involved in the process or just shows up as a VIP guest. Could you also address MOG asking for extra invites, and save the dates just to have, when she already received hers and didn’t contribute to the cost for any of these?
What if it is assumed the parents will pay for the wedding, except the rehearsal dinner by his parents. The parents never met to discuss who pays for what!
The wedding isn’t until November, but I think , since the couple is older, almost 40) either his parents or herself should contribute more to the wedding expenses.
What about the GOB (Grandma) of Bride or Groom?
I am seeing a LOT more young couples abandon tradition and celebrate their own ideas. It’s refreshing to see the emergence of their personalities on their big day. Makes it more memorable for them and the it families and guests.
What about mother of the groom dress?
would you consider addressing concerns when both MOB, MOG live out of the area/state of the wedding and the couple?
It is so important to include the mother of the groom, especially if she does not have a daughter. This will go a long way with having a good relationship in the years to come.
I feel so blessed that my daughter and my soon-to-be son-in-law want both parents to be involved in their wedding planning. I am praising God for how He is involved in the planning process as well.